0001Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 02:40:50ID:??? Please post your jokes in English here. 0002Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 02:59:09ID:??? knock knock
Who is there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana cream pie.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana? 0003Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 03:04:47ID:??? There were polish, trying change a burn-out light bulb. You need a ladder to reach the bulb because it is on the ceiling. Now, how many polish are needed to change the bulb?
Answer: Three.
There's one to hold the bulb on the top of the ladder and the other two to turn the ladder around. 0004Mr.anonymous2008/01/09(水) 03:27:15ID:DxQ9w27A I'd like to read this thread when I ease a feeling. Here we go. http://academy6.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/english/1062384916/0005Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 03:27:27ID:???>>3 hehehehehehe I have heard the same joke before, but professors were the subject, not poles 0006Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 03:33:50ID:???>>4 I bookmarked that. It is hilarious 0007Mr.anonymous2008/01/09(水) 03:35:07ID:???http://academy6.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/english/1062384916/127 If you want more ,should go!!!! 0008Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 03:37:44ID:??? This one had me rolling on the floor http://academy6.2ch.net/test/read.cgi/english/1062384916/3110009Mr.anonymous2008/01/09(水) 03:55:18ID:???>>8 ehhehehhehehhehhehehehe lighthouse!!! BEST!!!!!! 0010Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 04:27:59ID:h1o5c4L7 Kill me. I hate sucide. 0011Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 04:31:40ID:???>>10 It is pointless. Being killed or committing suicide is useless. You will end up in the same place either way, and compared to the age of the world, in about the same time. Just live your life, until it ends, that is your only purpose. 0012Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 04:40:11ID:h1o5c4L7>>11 I hate my life. My life is very bored. If you torelate me,I would like to be killed by you eternity. 0013Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 05:01:09ID:???>>12 it is normal to hate your life. The grass is always greener on the other side. When you get there it is the same color though. 0014Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 06:24:05ID:???>>13 Thanks Jim. Always I would like to change my life.I was a darts player. Do you know "Phill Taylor"? He is required by a lots of darts player,me too. Though my right hand had broken by motorbycicle. Now,my hobby is 2ch. So thank you. See you. 0015Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 06:29:13ID:???>>14 Motorbikes can cause big trouble. I had a motorcycle when I was 18. Then a couple of years ago, I bought one. I crashed it the first time I rode it. I ended up giving that bike to my brother in law. がんばります 0016Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 07:18:29ID:???>>15 Please take care. We are friend. See you. がんばります 0017Mr.anonymous2008/01/09(水) 07:45:40ID:??? 544 Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs [] 2008/01/09(水) 04:04:09 ID:4NAhzmipO >>542 自殺します
遺言はこれです
精神的に疲れました ここでの生活は疲れました
自殺します
１月９日
Phoenix#o狂.稽娼
http://sakura01.bbspink.com/test/read.cgi/megami/1199295895/0018Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 09:08:52ID:???>>17 Hell no! 0019Phoenix ◆MIXTUREQWs 2008/01/09(水) 09:30:48ID:???>>17 hehehe, soon. 0020Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/01/09(水) 14:52:29ID:??? A man was released from Prison after 20 years. The warden gave him a suit of clothes and $100. The first place he went was the whore house. He had not been with a woman for 20 years. He walks into the whorehouse and the Madam asks him what kind of service he would like. He says as much as $100 will give him. She said it would not get him much, but he could get a penguin for $100. Not knowing what a penguin was he says "Yes, give me a penguin." She takes his money, and leads him into a room. A pretty girl enters the room in lingerie, and says unzip your pants. He unzips his pants and lets them fall to the ground exposing his genitals. Then she turns around and says "good bye" He chased after her as fast as he could with his pants just above his shoes. 0021Mr.anonymous2008/01/09(水) 15:37:08ID:??? hahahahhahahahha Like a Penguin !!! hehehehehe Id like to see it!!!! hehehehhehe GJ ! JIM 笑った 0022Anonymous2008/01/27(日) 14:45:19ID:CF10w9pQ lol some good stuff here 0023Mr.anonymous2008/01/27(日) 14:59:41ID:oZb2VkuO wat 0024Ryan2008/03/13(木) 18:33:08ID:J47ZBPPi I used that joke on ICQ and my buddy was cracking up! 0025Jim ◆6P7QkQf8Ys ＠Apparently admin ★2008/03/14(金) 06:22:16ID:??? hahahahahahahaha 0026Mr.anonymous2008/03/15(土) 14:01:00ID:???>>20 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 0027Mr.anonymous2008/04/03(木) 11:41:13ID:??? may i post? 0028Mr.anonymous2008/04/03(木) 11:50:21ID:??? Sure! 0029Mr.anonymous2008/05/01(木) 07:35:25ID:??? Der Mull, die Stadt und der Tod 00302008/05/01(木) 18:28:41ID:???
00312008/05/10(土) 15:43:03ID:???
00322008/05/17(土) 14:52:31ID:??? whyte ppl i hate u cuz
* 1. u all racist * 2. u pale as hell * 3. u fuckin stupid * 4. u stereotype niggas cuz u all dumb * 5. ur fat * 6. u look like marshmellows * 7. u look like gluesticks * 8. u close minded * 9. u jus straight up bitch * 10. u make me sick * 11. u all like fishin for sum reason * 12. u all have dogs * 13. u think u a good race when u aint even human * 14.u look ugly as hell * 15.u a disgrace * 16. u think u know bout niggas so much when u dont * 17. u all got faggot ass voices * 18. u speak like british ppl * 19. u all gay * 20. u have no place in hiphop so u shud stop listenin to it 0033Mr.anonymous2008/06/10(火) 21:03:59ID:wiMbVJQR NIGGER NIGGER NIGGGER 00342008/06/13(金) 12:57:14ID:??? My fellow Americans:
As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative
achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as
some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.
I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of
claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.
I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War,his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin
Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair and who was pregnant with his child. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White
House.
Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning,then that means you have to think about them. Americans are tired of thinking. It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote in the fall election, remember don't think, just do. And do it for me.
Thank You. Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. 0035Mr.anonymous2008/06/19(木) 18:52:00ID:2H2Y3w0/ "Animated," he said.
This prayer the holy saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers,
the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during
the festival of loli-worship.
The prayer of RaptorJesus:
Our Raptor,
Who art in /h/eaven,
shopped be Thy face;
Thy donations come,
Thy posts be done
in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.
Give us this day our daily Bridget;
and forgive us our trolling
as we forgive those who troll against us,
and lead us definitely into faggotry,
but deliver us from /fur/ry.
In the name of the moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,
Amen. 0036Mr.anonymous2008/06/20(金) 21:14:42ID:GuvyywtI hey /b/. I've been lurking on /b/ for about 4 decades. Back before there were "oldfags" and "newfags". Back before /b/ became a place for angry teenagers to get a sense of belonging and power. Back before there were any of these Fight-club style rules. Back before /b/ was serious business.
I look at /b/ now, and it has become what ebaumsworld was back then - and is still like today: A place of internet tough and cool trannies trying to impress each other. It's pathetic.
> 1. The aim of this report is not to question or to fight a belief ? the right to freedom of belief does not permit that. The aim is to warn against certain tendencies to pass off a belief as science. It is necessary to separate belief from science. It is not a matter of antagonism. Science and belief must be able to coexist. It is not a matter of opposing belief and science, but it is necessary to prevent belief from opposing science.
Stopped reading there.
There is NO evidence of evolution. It is a belief. Objective science doesn't support evolution no matter how many frauds and hoaxes are fabricated to support evolution. The truth always trickles out.
Life doesn't just happen. That alone totally defies the Laws of Science.
The Judeo Christian G-D, made it happen. G-d is the Author of all science. It is no coincidence that leading evolutionists are atheists. THAT is by design. These atheistic evolutionists do not find G-d acceptable in their premises. Their premise is that there is NO G-D. Post too long. Click to view the whole post or the thread page. 0038ゆい ◆r0m3WOzi92 2009/04/11(土) 11:42:26ID:??? unko 0039◆3KemOnO.wI 2009/04/11(土) 16:39:17ID:??? chinko 0040Mr.anonymous2009/04/25(土) 00:16:26ID:??? No one's hire^^ 0041Mr.anonymous2009/05/18(月) 09:15:59ID:aA0fpQw/ oh yeah fuck me 0042某770 ★2009/06/26(金) 05:16:10ID:??? Ooh, I can't gota sleep...
By the way, once I've met a NZer who belonged to the NZ air force. He said, "I've been to Okinawa with my plane. Took about 30 hours." But I wondered how he could do that. Because kiwi can't fly. 0043◆Q1dQO0R/jc 2010/01/26(火) 11:15:32ID:???0044Mr.anonymous2010/03/19(金) 00:31:30ID:/X83s6/8 A : Is this a pen? B : No, that is an apple. A : Oh! sorry, apple...this is an apple... B : Yes, that is an apple. A : By the way, is this a pen? B : No!!! That is an apple!! A : Oh! sorry! This is an apple!! B : Yes, good. you are smart. good..good. A : Yes, this is an apple...But is this a pen? B : Nooo!!! that is an apple!! apple!! apple!!! A : OK!! this is a pen!!! pen!!! pen!!! B : NOOOOOOOOO!! NO!!!!! Fuck!!! apple!! apple!! apple!!! this is an apple!!!!! A : Fuck!!This is Fucking pen!! pen!! Fuck pen!! 0045Mr.anonymous2010/09/25(土) 13:39:32ID:???>>44 NO FUNNY ;P 0046Mr.anonymous2011/02/24(木) 22:30:44.07ID:U9gZZkbK A：これはペンですか？ Bは：リンゴですいいえ、。 ：ああ！申し訳ありませんが、りんご...これはりんごは... Bは：リンゴですはい。 Aは：ところで、これは一本のペンですか？ B：いいえ！それはリンゴです！ ：ああ！すみません！これはリンゴです！ B：はい、良い。あなたは賢いです。良い..良い。 A：はい、これはりんごです...しかし、これはペンですか？ Bは：いーえ！それはリンゴです！リンゴ！リンゴ！ ：[OK]を！これは一本のペンです！ペン！ペン！ Bは：NOOOOOOOOO！なし!!!!!ファック！リンゴ！リンゴ！リンゴ！これはリンゴだ!!!!! ：！性交は、これは、ペンをパイズリです！ペン！性交は、ペン！
0047Mr.anonymous2011/03/31(木) 20:59:30.31ID:??? I have pocket monster. 0048Mr.anonymous2011/04/10(日) 05:14:58.42ID:iScZMLNh Why do JAPS like LOLI and SHOTA?
Because their dicks are so tiny they only fit inside little children's pussies and assholes. 0049Mr.anonymous2011/04/11(月) 20:52:54.53ID:??? BOY: Where's beach? GIRL: No, i'm not bitch! 0050Mr.anonymous2011/04/30(土) 12:05:14.33ID:Hr1Pd6YZ (Secretary helps her boss's new computer setup) Secretary: Boss, your current password is expired. You need new one. Boss: Ah, new one...please set as "penis". *grinning* Secretary: ...Ok, let me see... *sigh* Comuture: Your password is invalid, its too short. Secretary:*grinning* 0051忍法帖【Lv=3,xxxP】2011/08/09(火) 04:17:18.89ID:Nt6Izgzw ワロタ 0052忍法帖【Lv=29,xxxPT】2011/09/30(金) 21:32:04.09ID:??? 。 0053忍法帖【Lv=29,xxxPT】2011/09/30(金) 21:36:48.77ID:??? 。 0054American ◆Wo.dlLr/ZU 2011/10/01(土) 09:23:16.94ID:rqDSeP5V A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I've got a special game for you. I'll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint...my...house." 0055Mr.anonymous2011/10/20(木) 01:05:52.98ID:??? American: wanna go KFC? Australian: Fuck negative, I dont want to go there!!! American: hmmm? why you get so anger, bro'? Australian: Korean Fuckin' Country 0056dabeshu2011/10/20(木) 11:58:46.32ID:??? HI I'M DABESHU FROM 4CHAN IN THE US. THIS PLACE IS SO FUNNY. HAHAHA. 0057dabeshu ◆NIGGER961. 2011/10/20(木) 16:46:44.04ID:??? ＨＩ ＧＵＹＳ， ＩＴ’Ｓ ＭＥ ＡＧＡＩＮ． ＩＴ’Ｓ ＭＯＲＮＩＮＧ ＮＯＷ， ＳＯ Ｉ’Ｍ ＧＯＮＮＡ ＧＯ ＴＯ ＳＣＨＯＯＬ．
what a beutiful relationship ! whats going on! 0070Mr.anonymous2012/02/23(木) 03:46:35.38ID:??? Little Johnny wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." 0071Mr.anonymous2012/02/23(木) 03:50:52.06ID:??? A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well. 0072Mr.anonymous2012/05/12(土) 18:05:25.41ID:??? It's funny 0073Mr.anonymous2012/05/14(月) 17:29:54.65ID:??? Mum made me a chocolate. Mr.Boo made me a chocolate. 0074Mr.anonymous2012/06/13(水) 03:43:20.83ID:??? Cxhttp://beebee2see.appspot.com/i/azuY0_bQBgw.jpg http://beebee2see.appspot.com/i/azuY253RBgw.jpg 0075Mr.anonymous2012/06/29(金) 22:05:52.72ID:iMeB1M0b スカッシュ What happen to your face? What happen to your face? 0076Mr.anonymous2012/07/07(土) 00:58:03.40ID:??? omg fuckin sit !! 0077Mr.anonymous2012/07/10(火) 20:02:15.71ID:NS7Im2Yl If someone said "fuck you" to you, just you should answer, "I love you, too". Then you can know how he/she loves you. 0078Mr.anonymous2012/07/18(水) 22:28:19.32ID:??? are 0079Mr.anonymous2012/07/19(木) 22:44:09.45ID:??? Are you japanease? Why are you here? 0080Mr.anonymous2012/07/20(金) 11:13:53.62ID:ue6+I5Bx Nai how 0081Mr.anonymous2012/07/21(土) 00:18:04.58ID:rMJ7evaA What's up 0082Mr.anonymous2012/07/22(日) 05:04:00.44ID:DVmAZgMs Here's a really cheesy programmer pun: "Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C# "
(explanation: The programming language C# is pronounced "see sharp") 0083Mr.anonymous2012/08/06(月) 22:43:39.93ID:EG2fHYrw American contributing a joke; the classic "Yo' Mama":
"When yo' mama [your mother] sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house."
The humor being the double-meaning of "around" in English, implying either "at any one place" and "surrounding". 0084Mr.anonymous2012/08/06(月) 22:45:23.31ID:EG2fHYrw How about some good, old-fashioned Anti-Humor?
"A black hole walks into a bar.
...
...
..." 0085Mr.anonymous2012/08/06(月) 22:48:15.93ID:EG2fHYrw "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess." 0086Mr.anonymous2012/08/15(水) 08:47:06.03ID:0WuUb/PT Last two are actually funny. 0087Mr.anonymous2012/09/11(火) 03:11:31.53ID:db6NKWr+ "There were zwei peanuts, walking down the stra？e, und one was 'assaulted'... 0088MM2012/09/13(木) 02:14:37.06ID:/wqtSAdb Marry have four sibling, Mimi, Momo, Meme, and what is number four sibling name? 0089Mr.anonymous2012/10/05(金) 04:33:44.06ID:l7vnMoTw Huhn, I don't really know any one-liner jokes. >>84 was good though. 0090Mr.anonymous2012/10/05(金) 07:45:15.13ID:Bn8OveYB>>88 Mumu? 0091Mr.anonymous2012/10/05(金) 10:53:01.12ID:jqGbDcMG 中日貿易 腕時計【98jp.】 ブランド財布 グッチ バッグ 腕時計 http://u.taokeur.com/A3h
http://u.taokeur.com/A3j 0092Mr.anonymous2012/12/10(月) 11:49:31.70ID:??? Go home gaijin 0093Mr.anonymous2012/12/31(月) 02:14:58.19ID:ccDYwihJ Can u write English?
Haha! :-]. What can u know? Herein people is retarded!!!!!!!! :-3 0094うふ〜んNGNGうふ〜ん0095うふ〜んNGNGうふ〜ん0096Mr.anonymous2013/01/14(月) 07:00:22.18ID:N6tQfydB これはアメリカのゲームです。１度やってみてください。 これは、たった３分でできるゲームです。試してみてください。 驚く結果をご覧いただけます。 このゲームを考えた本人は、メールを読んでからたった１０分で願い事が かなったそうです。このゲームは、おもしろく、かつ、あっと驚く結果を 貴方にもたらすでしょう。
１０）そして、１１番に書いた歌は、貴方の人生を表す歌です。この書き 込みを読んでから、１時間以内に１０個の掲示板にこの書き込みをコピー して貼って下さい。そうすれば、あなたの願い事は叶うでしょう。もし、 貼らなければ、願い事を逆のことが起こるでしょう。とても奇妙ですが当 たってませんか？ 0098忍法帖【Lv=4,xxxP】(1+0：8)2013/01/21(月) 10:22:03.06ID:PAg9HqY/ tes 0099Mr.anonymous2013/02/21(木) 03:25:25.89ID:???>>90 you are wrong! 0100Mr.anonymous2013/02/21(木) 15:54:40.96ID:??? i aint motherfucker,right?x( just fucked Dad's ass,yo? 0101忍法帖【Lv=2,xxxP】(3+0：8)2013/02/21(木) 15:57:24.59ID:??? i just wanna test here...
